The last chapter of our fairytale story

It's been a tough roller-coaster ride these few months.
Life after Os was legitly boring having to stay at home all the time. After the Korea and Europe trip I felt so lost having nothing to do after having jam-packed schedules during the trips. I ended things with him on New Year. It sounds like a pretty dumb date to do it right? God knows but I felt like I couldn't drag it on any longer. I was honestly getting really tired of accepting everything. They say it takes two hands to clap but I couldn't change myself. So I figured out it'll be better to let go. It sounds like an excuse but it doesn't mean that you break up because you don't like that person anymore. It's really troubling for me to see him suffering along with such a useless me. It makes me feel bad and guilty knowing that I can't give him what he wants. So I just made a decision that day... I gotta say that I thought life would be great after that but I thought wrong. But it's okay. I'm pretty sure things will get better as time passes ? I gotta say that during the past year I was really treated like a princess and it was really great to have someone to rely on and trust. But now I feel that I really went into a relationship too fast. I heard what happened during the class chalet and I'm just really mind-blown now. It just shows how desperate he/guys are for sex. Really feel stupid for trusting the wrong guy. I can't believe he actually did that. Just really lost trust in guys man.
Right now I'm really hoping that everything will go well although the year started off with a bad one. Earnestly praying that I get into NYJC now.. But I've a feeling I'll get into AJC in the end..
Late night thoughts are really killing me. Have been thinking so much nowadays. Luckily there was camp the past few days to help me clear my mind a little. But after a busy day I would just stare at the ceiling and not be able to sleep... Trying to occupy myself with gaming and social media now but when I've nothing to do, all these thoughts keep haunting me. Just really hope I'll pull through everything...