Be The Light

"Be the light
Shine on my black and hidden heart
Melt me from being frozen
So that I’ll be so dazzling
That no one else can look at me"

It's Sunday already... This week passed by so fast. I spent the week mugging like shit for Common Tests waking up at 4 in the morning almost everyday. Getting back the results tomorrow I guess (?) Hopefully my hardwork doesn't betray me.. Though most of the time it does and it makes me really disappointed in myself. It's not like I didn't study. I did. And I end up scoring as the same as people who didn't even study. I feel like strangling myself so badly.

Finally had the time to catch up with Jarel Wanchi and Shania after CT on Friday. Hopefully we'll be able to meet up during the March holidays >.<! Today's Shania and Taeyeon's birthday though :b That lucky bitch has the same birthday as Taeng T.T SNSD won champion during today's Inkigayo ^^ I was like spazzing like mad during the live performance~ 

Gotta go back to the mugging life starting from tomorrow :( That kinda sucks. I've lost the motivation to study already. Especially if my common test results turns out like shit. Imma just gonna be depressed. This Tuesday's ballet lesson will be the last one till the exam >< I'm like fucking worried for the exam because I've this feeling that my memory will just fail me and especially when I've 2 partners which will probably tire me out. But I really wanna do well though. I don't want to disappoint myself over and over again. People keep saying that there's something one person is always good at. But what the fuck am I actually good in? Nothing. I suck at studies, guzheng and my dance ain't that good too. I wonder what will I actually do in the future. Maybe I'll just end up in ITE.

Wondering what I should do today since it's one of the rare days where I get to slack. I pratically spent the whole day playing Mstar already. I was thinking if I should just sing... But I don't have the mood tonight. The thought of having CCA tomorrow is just ._. IDK what to say about that. Just realised that I'm actually going to go out quite a few times during the March holidays. Primary school friends, clique and Shania they all T.T But honestly I rather go out with Shania. I get to see my clique in school so I guess not going out with them during that one week doesn't really have much impact? It's been like 4 months since I've seen Shania T.T OMG I miss her sia. We're kinda like sisters for well. Most people kinda freak out when they know how I met her. Haha~ We met cause of SNSD XD We were like spazzing buddies then we suddenly became close (?) This kinda makes me think of how many friends I can depend on right now.....