Being judged at every decision I make

Feeling so socially awkward now and I've to act like I'm the happy bubbly usual self when I'm feeling fucking awful on the inside. Currently have no appetite and there's this chill running through my body from time to time. I don't really know what's running through my fickle mind. Trying to figure out what's wrong with me after having the sudden urge to scream out loud. Just had a talk with Jerica and we mentioned the topic of having our periods haha XD But that doesn't seem like the reason man.
For some weird reason I got really nervous and moody when I got the gift cause I was feeling so stressed out and I didn't know what to do. People might think that I'm fucking stupid not to feel happy but I've no idea why too. I was really worried at how someone in my family would discover it and you can practically say that my sec 4 life would be pretty much ruined? Well, I've no idea what to really say right now because my mind's currently in a state of mess.
I guess today was rather good because I studied 2 chapters of biology and kinda got it I guess. Spent like an hour crapping with WanXian and Chieh Ling while studying~ If not for them, I would've been feeling really fucked up I guess.